Dirty Work
by GlovecestQueen
Summary: Dipper and Mabel live in fear that their peers will find out about their relationship. But how can you stop something that feels so right?


**the squeekwal**

allex wuz sadness. he had broken up wit da angel of da skool, lauren fast. howevr, he had his beedy lids set on a new, saucier daddy. jhonen wactched them break up. he turned to jimmy urine, who had not yet perished in da earthquake, and sed "he look sad" .jimmy burped. jhonenne sea"i'm serios, jimmjimm! i dunt kno wat 2 do 2 make him feel better!"

"finger his asshole" jimmy waves to a crying lauren faust, nothing but joy in his dimples

alex notices jimmy in the corner of his tired bleeding pupils, he hath not slept since his nite w jhonen, 5 yrs ago. they still in hiskool tho ok? hiskool is are also very bad students. naughty. naughty students. need to be taught a lesson fuckin sluts

johgnen shared eye contact w alex for a full 3 hours until passing period ended. they then went 2 3rd period math w a mr. butch hartman. he was kinda fuckin cray, always talkin 2 himself. also he never passed hiskool, so idk y he a teacher the skool just has rly bad budgeting/ they spent all their money on prom of '89. hav not made money since. there r only 4 students in the skool.

DA next day, jhonnene confronts alec. "alex chan," jhone screeches, "im gomenesai that u had 2 break up w the girl of ur dreams bc i penetrated ur sweet hairy ass. y does it have that much hair? do u have, like, a condition or something? i can shave it 4 u" alex is flattered but seyz "no thankyou. maybe 1 day but not now. its 2 tough" "ya tough bc u broke up w lauren i understand" "no bc when i was carrying u i got a hernia"

jhonene blushed, but he shouldn't have. it wasnt meant 2 be a smexxi statement. alex actually had a hernia. he was in pain every day but he tried 2 play it off like it was no Notorius B.I.G. bc hes shy. it was a big deal tho. the hernia wuz terminal. OpPS SPoILER ! lol authors misteak

jhonene continued 2 blush like a sensual chipmunk, not ALvin doe the taller 1. alvin is a fucking cunt fuck alvin. alvin reminded jhhone of his momther. jhonen shook the thoughts away, like tim allen shook away his career in the Shaggy Dog (2006).

"so uh.." jhonen began interrupted by the pools of sweat pouring frum his eyes to his mouth. he esh nervous. he coughs up the sweat and w his voice hoarse he pleads "cum 2 this cobra starship concert w me dis saturday. u deserve a real d8. i can give u somethin lauren nevr did." he leans in close as the lace of his corset touches alex hirshch''s chest hair. his shirt is off. his shirt melted off hours ago. jhonen contnued in a sultry whisper, "toons." jhonen sexily turns 90 degress away frum alex, w a chipmunk like smirk on his face, but jhonene does this action 2 fast. he falls bc of his 18 in black boots and falls on his face, breaking every bone in his body, begining w his 12 inch nose. u kno what they say about the size of noses. same size as cock. speaking of cocks, jhonenes cock hasbroken in da fall. alex that was a cute joke so he laffed and left for 3rd period math bc that is the only class they have. they have not learned much. these children will no t be redy 4 the real world. they r trippin over their own feelins.

the concert was steamie but jonnen n alexxx made it thru the wilderness. they located da stage and sat on top, until the band cobra strship yelled them and htey had 2 get off ykno. bc thats illegal? allex holds johne who is now a v frail man thru out da show. johnnen insists that they mosh rlly hard to his fav song the chuch of hot addicktion. alex asks "r u sure dude" n jhne givez a cryptic nod. johnene takes one step (closer to the edge by linkin park, a band neither of them even like, so why are they in the fic gtfo ok), and falls into itty pieces like a f*ck*n wad. allllllex collects the residue like george bush collected america after the events of 9/11 and holds hhim to his breast as dey mosh.

alex meets johnnen s thick brown orbs thru da steam. he vapes, "wanna cum back to my place u lil hot dog"

jhonen did enjoy schnitzell, so he considered this a compliment of the highest degree. higher than gabe saporta he literally levitatez off of da GROUND. little did anyone kno that gab saporta wuz actually chris angel mind freak. i know though. i fucking know. you think you're smart, chris angel? huh? i'll expose you soon u littel bitch

"i am feelin p roasted" jon smirsk, wobbling towards the door. u kno alex checked out dat ass

dey go bak to the house bakstreets bak alright. tjey also fuck (tastefully omitting sexxx scene srry bout it my mom is over my shoulder right now just cant shake bitchces amiright).

after sum bubbly smex (they had it in the bath and alex used his rising pheonix bath bomb frum lush), jhone n and allex were redy to get serious. as srs as you can get w the stuart little spanixh dub playin in the bg. "turn down the tv pls" alex cried v emtotionaly after the sex to his sister ariel. stuart little always reminded me of when his dog killed his other dog. some deep emotional stuff , but not wht they talked about. she sed nah.

jhoannen look into alecx crying eyes, the lids were v squezeed 2gether, n kinda looked like vagine lips. joahn sed"alexc we shud tlak. if we r going 2 do dis, we gotta do it rite. i wanna tell u abt my lyfe n my secretz. alex nodded as johnn cuntinued"my lyfe is veRY HARD. MY LYFE HAoops sorry had capslocks on. my cat walked ovr de keyboard. "my lyfe is very hard. harder than urs or any1s its so hard 2 be me. i have a teriminal disease, measles. it's what killed FDR. "

"wasn't that polio?"

"listen, alex-"

"wasn't polio eradicated?"

"alex listen to me ! my lyfe is so hard thats y i wear dese black clothers, 2 express me mourning FDR and all that he has done 4 our beautiful nation. r u sure u wanna b wit some1 liek me?"

alex smirked and then got a little teary eyed bc he remembered stuart little, but then he smirked agen. "baby gorl, nuttin u say or do can keep me frum luvin u" jhon askx "so wut abt ur lyfe? ur such a prep its probs been a febreeze"

alex chuckled. "my entire family is dead. i raised myself. but bby, u've so much more than u...more dan me...remembr i am always here 2 support u thru ur grave illness"

dey embraced, and den jhonnen felt limp in alex's hands. he fallen asleep. alexsc had not told jhonen that his asshole has been bleeding since his tweenhood, esp rn bc he was a virgin. soon his supply of blood woud run out. "nuttin 2 worry about rn" he smirked to himself. he looked at jhonnesn limp sleeping vessel. "he doesn't cute?" alex smiled, smirkig. he luvd dis man. butt will deir luv be there….4evr?


End file.
